Ever wanted to tell someone off? Ever wanted to flip a big ol’ middle finger to the people who steal our country, culture, and peace of mind? Maybe you’re more enraged by that jackass who sits next to you, the neighbor whose idiot dogs leave messes in your yard, or that evil orthodontist who ruined your teenage years. Finally, you have a way to tell them exactly how you feel with a safe, legal, and direct message that makes your point while helping the environment.

Sending someone a “Poo-You” message is exactly what it sounds like —an emotionally-charged shipment of Poo will be sent directly to the person who you tell us needs it most. You can even choose to remain anonymous! Not only is it legal, it’s absolutely safe. A “Poo-You” message is 100% organic, 100% biodegradable, and a 100% fantastic fertilizer. It truly is 100% Poo (from worms!), but it’s been naturally sterilized and is odor-free. You see, worms consume dead plant matter, and in doing so, they excrete (poo) a natural fertilizer that provides food for plants. It’s safe enough to touch—if that’s your thing. It’s safe enough to eat—although it’s not real tasty, and we don’t recommend it.

In addition to the Poo, the offender will also receive a package of seeds that they can bury with their Poo – and their bad behavior – in hopes that doing something good will make up for their evil deeds and wretched ways.

It’s really safe. It’s really legal. It’s really fun. It’s really awesome. It’s really Poo. People need to know when they’ve done something wrong, yet have the chance to do something right. It’s time to stand up, people! Stand up and send the world a message it will finally hear – “POO YOU!”